McDeploy in the McNavy

WWW. NEW NAVY .U$

McDeployment in the McNavy

though it seems like a joke, one 6 month deployment on a submarine and you would be able to come up with a list much greater in length. McDeploy!!!

I associate leaving the navy with being soothed and better associating myself with nature.

1) No McORSE

2) If you have to take a piss, you can go take a piss. No questions asked.

3) You'll never have to go port and starboard on the fryer.

4) Better pay.

5) The f*cking sun.

6) Air.

7) The boxes of food at McDonald's aren't stamped "Rejected by Hardee's" or "Not fit for human consumption".

8) The ability to call in sick.

9) The ability to quit.

10) McDonald's doesn't get their uniforms from the same company as the state penitentiary.

11) McDonald's doesn't deploy.

12) They have actual janitors.

13) No McDrills.

14) The grill breaks, you CALL someone to fix it.

15) At least your boss accepts that he's a clown.

16) No McResin Discharge.

17) No all night hydro on the fryer.

18) One word: overtime.

19) Every day is slider day!

20) At McDonald's, you will never, EVER, worry about being put in prison for ten years because you told your wife what the secret sauce is.

to not eat like a pig does not mean that I can not eat pig

22) You'll never die a horrible, excruciating death from the crush depth implosion of a McDonald's.

23) No steam piping.

24) No time at McDonald's will you hear your boss give a thirty minute dissertation over the P.A. on the importance of being at the register 15 minutes early.

25) They won't ask you about Taco Bell operations on the advancement test.

26) You get to leave work EVERY day at the end.

27) McDonald's will eventually fire the really stupid employees.

28) two words: Happy Meals.

29) McDonald's doesn't look like a big black turd.

30) Grimace don't do Vulcan Death Watches.

31) McDonald's has a slide out back.

32) To do something at McDonald's, you look at the color coded chart, not OP umpty-squat, chapter whatever, reference 3, ACN B, rev 17.

33) If McDonald's catches fire, you LEAVE.

34) No McSmall Valve Maintenance.

35) No McCOB.

36) Leaving McDonald's in an emergency doesn't require a steinke hood and a lot of praying.

37) The coffee's better.

38) Someone else makes the water.

39) You don't have to live there to work there.

40) The only cones come from the ice cream machine.

41) McDonald's doesn't go into dry-dock. (again and again)

42) ALL the tests are multiple choice.

43) Their TV commercials are a lot cooler.

44) Three words: Sea Foam Green.

45) Stock in McDonald's is worth something. The Navy is a part of an operation that is 6 trillion dollars in the hole.

46) Special sauce isn't "hand made".

47) No McBilges to clean.

48) Opening for business doesn't require a full day of preparations and everyone to show up for a brief at 0230.

49) Three words: Stupid ass hats.

50) Personnel inspection requirements are written on the door. (No shirt, no shoes, no service)

51) At McDonald's, dislocating your shoulder is not considered getting the good deal.

52) McDonald's never had an accident that cause a person to be stuck to the ceiling impaled on a french fry. (i.e.. No Mc-SL1)

53) Because you deserve a break today.

54) Even the little Hamburglar is cooler than a goat.

55) Mayor McCheese doesn't wield a righteous thumb of indignation.

56) You can choose which McDonald's you want to work at.

57) If you want to buy your boss a beer, that's okay.

58) If you want to tell your boss to f*ck off and just die f*cking die, that's okay too.

59) There is no Uniform Code of McDonald's Justice to deal with.

60) The news comes from USA Today, not Ric Crawford, GS-12.

61) No one will rack you out at 2 in the morning to start the grill.

62) Chances of you getting called back after you get off work are pretty damn slim.

63) Putting the pickle on the hamburger doesn't require an QA-34 and a signature to be used against you in a court of law, should they want you.

64) The only guy in a silly yellow suit is Ronald.

65) How many McDonald's were sunk in W.W.II?

66) Fixing the register doesn't require a rubber room and a rope man.

67) Nothing on the menu contains the phrases, "Horse cock" or "baboon ass".

68) At McDonald's, the riders would have to leave at closing time.

69) $2.99 is a meal price, not a daily wage at McDonald's.

70) You don't have to go single register operations if someone spills a Coke.

71) McDonald's doesn't require a 24 hour Shutdown Register Operator and McRoving Watch.

72) McDonald's doesn't call your house at 5:30 in the morning blaring some god-awful antiquated song about a bugler just to wake you up.

73) No McRadcon.

74) At McDonald's, your boss will never make you drive him around for two and a half months so he can spy on Wendy's.

75) You will never be locked in for 24 hours pretending to operate everything. (i.e. no McFastcruise)

75.5) You don't have to come in to work at 7:00 only to wait around for an hour waiting for your boss to tell you things you already know.

76) At McDonald's you will never hear, "Shake machine troubleshooting team, and all off watch drink makers, lay aft."

77) No McGMT.

78) At McDonald's you don't have to route a 1250 for a new stack of cups.

79) If you burn a hamburger they won't take away half a month's pay for two months and restrict you to the playground.

80) Knowledge of the material of construction and variable operating characteristics of the grill are not prerequisites for operation.

81) You don't have to take apart the shake machine once a quarter just because.

82) You don't have to share your bed with two coworkers.

83) You don't have to shave off your goatee when the district manager comes.

84) At McDonald's, when the toilet clogs, you don't rig pressurized air to the shitter.

85) You don't have to shut everything off and call in the last shift to start the grill.

86) Early in the morning, you don't cycle the drink machine on and off just for practice.

87) You scrub the floors because it's dirty, not because it's Wednesday.

88) There is almost always plenty of parking. If not, drive through.

89) Don't like what you got? Take it back.

90) You don't have to take a turbidity prior to putting a new catsup dispenser on service.

91) Failure of the warming oven door to open is not a panic causing event. It will also not preclude you from starting another fryer or pulling the fries out of the vat due to interlock.

92) No Mc-HPACs.

93) No one hates it so bad they refer to it simply as "The Mac".

94) No 16 hour days at McDonald's prototype making burgers in the middle of the desert for no one.

95) If you wipe up a catsup spill at McDonald's, you don't have to let it dry before you throw it away.

96) They won't secure one of the register operators to keep track of the people going into Burger King.

97) You don't have to have permission from the Manager, Assistant Manager, and Register Operator before going into the freezer.

98) At McDonald's, the toilet paper stays in the bathroom, not on the dinner table.

99) You don't have to completely undress to pinch a loaf.

100) ALL of the articles of the Constitution apply to you at McDonald's.

101) This is my personal addition. Though McDonlad's will not send you to Spain, you will not be going there on a submarine, and while leaving you will not be fed shaddy hamburger (ie pero)

Though it is good, I can not claim this as my own. This came from the site this picture links to.

I have to thank my friend, Filth, (drop heat and holla) for reminding me to put this on my site. They were working one on the boat and it is up to over 200 right now... "You can't spell pride without the big D and battle E" - an officer formerly from the USS DALLAS

let us not forget why jail is better.

1. No watch standing. There are already people there who get paid to do that.
2. You actually did something wrong to get the punishment that you’re receiving (well, in most cases).
3. You actually get twin sized beds.
4. You only have one or two cellmates as opposed to 80.
5. Your cell has more space than an officer’s stateroom.
6. You won’t go six months without a conjugal visit.
7. You get to lay in your bed whenever you damn well please.
8. No uniform inspections – your uniform can looked as ####ed up as you allow it to get.
9. You get to wear sneakers all day, everyday.
10. You don’t wear the same clothes little three-year-old boys wore back in the 1930’s.
11. You can get out early on good behavior.
12. When your four-year sentence is almost up, no one tries to convince you to stay.
13. If there’s a fire, the guard dials 9-1-1, herds everyone out of the building and everyone waits for the fire department to come take care of it.
14. There’s no exam required to move you to minimum security.
15. You can curse out the prison staff all you want, nothing happens.
16. When you get out, they can’t call you back to make you serve more time.
17. You get to play sports everyday.
18. Not busy? Standing around doing nothing? No one cares.
19. No haircuts against your will. You can sport the “Jesus Look” if you want to.
20. If someone jumps in front of you in the chow line, you push him the #### out of your way.
21. It’s easier to accept the fact that your wife is cheating on you.
22. They offer money to get people mess crank, mop floors, and move boxes.
23. There’s a full library.
24. You don’t have to hunt people down for fifty different signatures in order to qualify as “License Plate Stamper”.
25. They don’t keep you from going back to your cell once every six days.
26. They don’t threaten to keep you from going back to your cell once every three days for not qualifying as “License Plate Stamper” within six months after being thrown in jail.
27. No reveille.
28. The water isn’t “made”.
29. You get to play cards all day.
30. You have more opportunity to call home.
31. Everyone there is equally worthless.
32. You get movies AND cable 365 days a year.
33. You have more room to store your stuff
34. Your bed doesn't bear a striking resemblance to a coffin
35. You can kick your neighbor's ass and not worry about being "rewarded" a fine (although solitary confinement still sounds better than "out-to-sea" confinement)
36. No squeezing in between chairs attached too ridiculously close to the tables; you pull out the chair to sit down for chow.
37. You can read books whenever you want.
38. You don’t have to salute the correctional officers.
39. Escaping will never require you to swim in the middle of the ocean.
40. One word: Bail.
41. The plumbing is never in “transit mode”.
42. There’s only one line for signature on the Damage Control PQS: State the exit that is nearest to your cell.
43. You’ll never have to “Man the barbed-wire fences”.
44. Your bed isn’t less than three feet away from your cellmate’s.
45. Homeless people actually commit crimes so they can get into jail. How many people on your ship claim to have joined the Navy because they were homeless?
46. You’ll never have to play “waiter” in the correctional officers’ dining facility.
47. You’ll never have to “shift uniforms” for any reason whatsoever.
48. The gym is better.
49. Your shitter is available for use 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You don’t have to worry about finding out which shitter is the duty shitter.
50. Speaking of shitters, jail has a better man-to-shitter ratio: 2 to 1, as opposed to 20 to 1